When You Grow Up

I am one of those people, that never regrets anything she does in her life, but views the “mistakes” as a learning experience. I have been through hell and back through out my childhood, and even through some of my adulthood. I cannot say that I have ever truly been “happy”. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love my child, husband, and family to death.

However, I always felt something was missing in my life. I would wonder often what my life would have been like, if I did something with it. If you would have asked me what I was going to do with my life 2 months ago, I would have told you nothing. Two months ago I had no long term plans for my life, I mean why should I. I had my husband to count on, BUT was I expecting to much from him? I knew the toll his job was taking on his body, I cared, but I didn’t. Does that make since?

It bothered me the fact my husband was having to work with the issues he was having with his body, it bothered me that when he would go see the doctor our insurance would only cover a small amount. When I say small, I mean small; how does .89 on a $152 bill sound. But we had bills that needed paid, I have tried to find a part time job to help out; however, jobs are not easy to get.

My husband’s job ended, I went into a depression state, had no idea what the hell I was suppose to do, it has now been 5 weeks, and I am happy to say I think I see a light to the end of the tunnel. Nope still don’t have a job, however I have something better. I have applied for school, and I begin this fall. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I actually have a purpose.

I just learned today, that on top of FA I can get a student loan that will help get us by with bills for the time being.

Growing up I would have never imagined myself going into the medical field, I would have never imagined, I would be able to make a great income, support my family, and have some to put up for my daughter’s future. I am extremely excited, and scared all at the same time.

I am thankful everything that happened did happen, because if it didn’t I would still be depending on my husband instead of working on bettering my education, so when things got tough we had me to fall back on.