It’s no secret that as they get older, our parents need more care and attention. While you are happy and willing to provide this, sometimes it can go beyond your capabilities. Your parents might need specialist care to deal with a medical condition or to assist them with limited mobility. But if they decline any offers of additional help it can leave you both in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. Their condition might get more severe, and you might injure yourself trying to help them. So to deal with stubborn parents who need care but won’t accept it, here’s what you need to do next.
Start the conversation
It can often take elderly people a long time to come around to the idea of accepting extra care. This is completely understandable as they want to maintain their independence for as long as possible. As tempting as it might be to put off talking about what care they would like to receive, do it sooner rather than later. This can give you sufficient time to start planning for the future, while also providing time for them to think. It also helps you understand what your parents want before a medical issue arises. Seek out opportunities to bring up the topic naturally and ask for their opinions. This can help you establish which caregiving options they dislike and which could be possibilities.
Discover what their concerns are
As well as bring up the topic of caregiving, also discover what their concerns are. This can make it much easier for you to find a solution and make them feel more confident about accepting help. They might be worried about the financial aspects of care and the adverse effects it could have. The lack of privacy and loss of independence could also be concerns they have. They may have seen news reports or articles about theft or inadequate standards in nursing homes. Listen carefully to these concerns and be sympathetic towards them. It can be easy to get frustrated during these situations, but try to be understanding. Reassure them and let them know that these concerns are being acknowledged.
Educate them
Educating your parents on the different types of care they can receive can also help to change their mind. You can take them to visit a care home for the day to see what it’s like and to meet people their age. If they don’t want to consider care homes at the moment, talk to them about overnight care for elderly people instead. This might be a solution that provides your parents with companionship and care when you aren’t around. Another option is to ask a social worker or their doctor to pay them a visit. Their professional advice and suggestions could be what it takes to make them consider their care more carefully.
It’s unlikely that you will be able to change their minds overnight so you will need to be patient throughout. You might feel guilty or upset about going against their wishes. But if you know it is for the best; you need to remove these emotions and not give in too easily.
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