Being Positive

One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to see the positive in everything. I knew thinking negative would only cause me more stress and I honestly don’t need no more stress in my life.  I wouldn’t voice any negative opinions or feelings, and I would do what I could to think positive. I know that God is the one in control of what happens, and I have no right to be the judge.

However, I failed that resolution just like I failed Yoda. God it hurts not having that silly dog around, God it hurts knowing within the next few days he will die, God it hurts knowing that these rescue groups don’t do as they claim.

I walk into the shelter and I see all these dogs that people threw away, dogs that once, well maybe once were loved, dogs wanting a family to love them, dogs that are begging for someone to take them home. I then see my boy Yoda. He is loved so much yet he is scared and the only begging he is doing is to come home. His begging is a bit different then those that don’t know love. His begging is more aggressive, you know that “If you don’t let me go home, I will eat you”.

It hurts the shelter only sees this behavior from him, it hurts that the shelter refuses to let me pay for all vetting and training to get Yoda help, it hurts that the shelter deems him unlovable. I loved him, he has bite me twice and I still love him.

I have read up on his breed, and the behavior isn’t uncommon with his breed. However, we didn’t see it as an issue when he first started having the problems. If we would have seen the problem from the start we could have corrected it. Instead we have the shelter stating something has happened to him.

We have had Yoda since he was 6 weeks old, nothing but love happened to that dog. That dog was spoiled, he knew who loved him, however, he thought it was his place to be pack leader, and when corrected he didn’t like it.

I am attempting to see the positive in all this, however, I am having a hard time doing so. I do understand my daughter’s safety had to come first, I do understand Yoda had aggression issues and they probably couldn’t be fixed, I know this doesn’t stem from me, but the fact he was the runt, the fact he was taken from his mom way to soon, the rest were my doing. I failed to correct certain things about him, because we thought they were cute.

Oftentimes when we love something we tend to over look the wrongs in it. Yoda was screwed from the very start of his life, my family did what we could for him for as long as we could. I know Yoda really couldn’t live here no more, but at the same time I feel as though I failed him because I didn’t do more for him. I failed him because I took the stick from him that caused the attack. The attack that got him sent to the shelter for the 10 days. The attack that will get him killed in a few days.

I know no-one wants an aggressive dog, no-one wants a dog that cannot be trusted. If I had the means the land and the money, I would take these dogs no-one wanted because of aggression issues and I would start my own foundation. A foundation that would allow a dog to live his life until God chose to take him. Not when the shelter feels he cannot be loved any longer.

With being lied to for the past week, I don’t think I could ever support a shelter or an animal rescue. I do hope to one day understand everything, to understand why I couldn’t save Yoda, to understand why the shelter has the final say in what animals should be killed, to understand why the bad things happen.

Until I understand I will do my best to remain positive.