I sit here holding back the urge to break down and cry. Knowing that what’s about to happen needed to happen, but not really understanding why. As I sit here, I picture Yoda, scared, shaking, wanting his family. I see Bones, watching the door, waiting for his brother to come home. Jumping at every little noise hoping that his brother has finally found his way back.
We all knew this time was going to come, the time that Yoda bite again, the time that Yoda would end up at the shelter, the time the shelter would deem him vicious and put him down. We knew that if Yoda ever went to the shelter he would die. I only wished we could have helped him and saved his life, I only wish we could have did something to prevent another attack. We could have but I was stupid and I did something I shouldn’t have which lead to the attack.
While I knew another attack would come and I knew him being in the home with my daughter was a gamble. My daughter knew she wasn’t allowed to touch Yoda, she knew he was capable or biting. However, if she had her way he would be back home with us, instead of on death row. If I wouldn’t have attempted to grab that stick, he wouldn’t have attacked me and animal control wouldn’t have him right now.
I know the death of Yoda, is part my fault, because I knew he had problems. However, I also know that if he wouldn’t have attacked me that day, he would have eventually attacked again, and I am just grateful it wasn’t my daughter or any other person for that matter.
I am still trying to accept the fact that he will soon be killed. I don’t think I will ever be able to completely except it. I wish there was a place for dogs like him instead of death, but who wants to take on the responsibility of a vicious dog?
Even though Yoda, got me twice, I don’t see that dog as vicious. I see him with a problem I should have addressed a year ago. After taking the time to research the Boxer breed which should have been done before we got him. I have learned we did many things wrong, I think if things were done properly, we may have had some hope for Yoda and he may have been the best dog a family could want.
However, we will never know because we didn’t do things properly and Yoda had to move out, not because we wanted him to, but because we had to be responsible adults and put the safety of humans above Yoda. I do hope there’s an afterlife so I can one day see him again.
I want to find a rescue that does take in dogs that are loved by their human family, but have been deemed vicious so that I can help them with their cause. Whether it’s spreading the word about them or helping them round up donations. I don’t want Yoda’s death to be for nothing.
How many of you have had to have an aggressive dog put down? How long before you really accept the fact that your dog had to be put down? How long do you carry on that guilt of thinking you could have done more?
About Jammie Morey
We had to have Sophie, a pit bull, put down. EVERYTHING was tried to modify her behavior – including The Dog Whisperer himself, Cesar Milan – to no avail. This was about 8 years or so ago, and it still hurts. But I know in my heart that we did everything possible for Sophie, to give her a good chance at a quality life. And in the end, my idea of a quality life did not include spending 23 hours per day in a crate. You have to stop beating yourself up over this. Very possibly Yoda had a biochemical imbalance (as I suspect Sophie did), and a peaceful crossing over the Rainbow Bridge is preferable to 24 hour a day “behavior modification”, or a tranquilized dog shuffling over for a drink for a it’s parched mouth. (((((((((((JAMMIE)))))))) I DO know how you feel!!!!!
When Yoda was younger he loved the crate, then as he got older him being in the crate for even 10 minutes sent him in a bad mindset. We ended up putting the crate outside because he did best without it. He knew when people came over after he greeted them, he had to go lay down. He was doing extremely well, the shelter sees him as vicious, because this is a dog used to getting a lot of exercise… he is in a small cage and going nuts, he sees them as taking him from his family. It’s really hard knowing he is there, knowing the pain he is going through, I only wish since they do plan on putting him down, they do it soon. His quarantine is up now, I pray they don’t continue to put him through hell. My husband is calling tomorrow to see when they plan to put him down, I have a feeling they will not follow through with contacting us, so we can say our proper see you again at the rainbow bridge and have him cremated. Deep down, I know I didn’t do everything possible for Yoda, as you did Sophie. However, I now know since the aggression is set in, there was nothing I could do to help him. It hurts and it will hurt everyday, however, I will learn to deal with it better. I just miss the hell out of him, and wish they would make it as fast as possible so his suffering and depression will end.